A Virus And The Silent Contemplations Of A Doctor ( Reality and Surreality )

Late Doctor Ameyo Adadevoh

As I stomped my feet on the dusty Monrovian ground, my heart was pounding like a ten ton truck was hitting it repeatedly. It was very hot; over forty degrees. The entire colour was washed from my face and I felt weak in that instant. And then, there was this nudging headache…. I wondered whether this was how death felt like, but death was more of a numb feeling right?

I couldn’t get these macabre thoughts off my mind and there was a good reason so; I was on a suicide mission this time around! Death was inevitable, the question was when?

Being a health worker and travelling to various parts of Africa the past few years, especially the most challenging areas had made me see life in a whole different perspective… the joy it brings when you are literally giving a soul a chance to live again…to encounter people with different problems and still smiling and best of all to offer a helping hand…life was not just about me and it felt so gratifying. But now that life was closing in on me.

This mission was a suicide mission because we had heard of the team that went before us, led by Dr Bradley in another region. He had tested positive for the EVD the Ebola virus and died within few days. We were another team, and we were coming into a region with confirmed reported cases of EVD already. Dr Bradley was one of the doctors I looked up to and I hoped to meet him someday and soon enough…now it seemed I was getting my wish…I might get to meet him after all in the most unlikely of places; the grave!

Did I spend all those years in school to end up like this?

 I remembered taking the Hippocratic Oath; the oath physicians and physician assistants took to show "utmost respect for human life from its beginning."  I was so excited, I crammed all of the words and I tell you, there were so many of them!

Then my mind flashed back to my high school class mate; he barely made it out of college. He dropped out because he couldn't just do it. He went on to become a musician and all over the place people were shouting his name; Temple! Temple! He was travelling about everywhere and in several music videos...I was here...

I was not regretting my job or my work but did the world know my name? My story? Or even care? Did anybody know how painful this was going to be for my family? All these thoughts began rushing so fast and I suddenly caught myself with a “breathe” command. I had been through this conversation with my wife several times; it took us weeks of making up our minds and her finally deciding to let me do what I always wanted to do. I chose this! I couldn’t be mad now.

My wife, I could just picture her beautiful face had to come to terms with the certain possibility that she was going to lose me. It broke my heart when I remembered how bitterly she cried on countless days. Her hair was a mess, her eyes her bloodshot red! She wasn’t sleeping, eating or even talking to me. She would withdraw and even abandon our six year old son sometimes. Some days she gave me the fortitude to go on and reminded me of the possibility of a miracle that could preserve me. The possibility did exist, but the environment we were going into was very challenging, very hot and at the germane stages of the outbreak of the virus, there were no vaccines developed yet, little resources deployed, few volunteers available, enough to match the outbreak, it was like the world was dealing with a new beast and we were put in the front line.

That day I finally left. Could remember it vividly. It was some minutes past 4 a.m. My wife was able to catch some sleep. So I decided I’d just steal out of the house and go catch my flight. I could not stand the emotional goodbye. I might change my mind. Looking down at her beautiful face as she lay in serenity; I kissed her and silently whispered to my son; my work here on earth is probably done!

 The End

This post is dedicated to families dealing with the loss of a loved one who was some way involved in the fight against the Ebola virus as a health worker or doctor.

Rest in Peace Dr Ameyo Adadevoh. Her work ethic, passion commitment and drive helped us contain the first case of Ebola in the country (Nideria), as she unknowingly treated and contracted the virus and died of it. But her tireless efforts saved us of more casualties.

“Unknown to Dr Ameyo Adadevoh , Patrick Sawyer was already terminally symptomatic with EVD. Mr. Sawyer, on admission denied having been in contact with any person with EVD at home, in any hospital or at any burial. So, on 21 July, Mr. Sawyer was being managed for Malaria. He had tested positive for Malaria parasites.

 But, once she struck upon the possibility that Mr. Sawyer was EVD-positive, she immediately isolated/quarantined the patient, commenced barrier nursing and simultaneously contacted the Lagos State Government & the Federal Health. It required someone with Dr Ameyo Adadevoh 's capabilities to firewall Mr. Sawyer & limit the contamination that he would have inflicted. For that, she paid with her life. She refused for him to be let out of the hospital in spite of intense pressure from him and from outside.

 At risk to her own life, she knew she had to keep Patrick Sawyer in or the nation was doomed. She paid the price.

Because of the circumstances of her passing, there may be no grave to memorialize Dr Ameyo Adadevoh” culled from tweets by @omojuwa on twitter

We should never forget such a beautiful soul.

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Jehovah Overdo (Nigerian Praise) by Uche. The making of the song. Studio...

So last week, I was in the studio, working on a song I wrote; Jehova Overdo. I was with my brothers, and Riwo, my backup singer. Sitback, watch and enjoy the video above, and drop your comments!!

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What Do You Do When You Have To Let Go?

There was once a childless man. His wife was barren. Very barren. It is the joy of a mother to carry her baby months after marriage, but this case was over the top. It was over 70 years of marriage and there were no issues. Now this man really loved God, and God had to teach him various lessons on faith, patience, obedience over the years. God promised to still give him a child, so after those gruesome, painful years; yes he made some mistakes though, had a child by the way by another woman because he was so desperate!! But after all those long years, this was it! God finally gave them a child! They were overjoyed beyond words. They threw the biggest party ever. They didn't spare any extravagance because they could afford it. Money was never their problem. He had more of it than he even knew what to do with it. The child was the only missing link, and now it had come! and a boy as at that ( no sexism intended). So life was great, moving on the fast lane. Had everything they could ever ask life! But one night, it seemed like a dream, no it wasn't real. You see this man claimed to hear from God. God had even appeared to him on one occasion, spoken vividly several times, so he should know the voice of God. But this time, he couldn't be so sure. God was telling him to kill his son??? this couldn't be real, c'mon Jesus! But he had heard this voice several times to doubt it. Lord you're asking me to throw away over 70 years of waiting, work, faith, obedience and learning, in one moment. Isaac was more than a child. He was the story of Abraham's life. He was a definition of years of wait. And God was saying let go?? no no! So on a cold misty morning, he woke his sleeping son, and while the lad was still half asleep, he carried him and with two servants slipped out of the house. He daren't not tell his wife! So with resoluteness, face set like a flint, bloodshot eyes, he trodded on this lonely path to accomplish this murder mission that he claimed God gave him. I know it took a while to get to this place, to have what you got and have that special person in your life. Even your dreams. You've worked the grind till you got to this extent. Some place you'd like to school, work, live you've dreamed about for years.To be honest, God had been helping you all along. There was no doubt that God was in this leading you through various stages. But, what do you do, when God tells you to let go, of what you love most? of everything you think you have to hold so tightly? To just throw away what took you some considerable years of your life. Now you can't claim that what God is telling you to let go of isn't real or special, you even felt a godly connection. This is what you got by faith. And God is saying let go? in a blink what you got over years? You have to understand that letting go does not always mean that you're weak in faith, or that you're a quitter or that you have no strength to keep fighting. But sometimes, it just means that you don't need to continue in your own strength, but rest in the strength, wisdom, knowledge of God. Let us consider Abraham and how he had to let go of his only begotten son. To those who have to let go and are finding it difficult, these 5 points would help. Always remember them; 1. CONTROL FREAK ALERT! You do not own anybody!! The bible says the cattle on a thousand hills belong to God. So if you can't even really own cattle, how do you think you can own a human being? created in the likeness of God? God owns everything and everybody. What he does is that he gives us 'custody' over them for a period of time. For example, if I gave you my i-phone to keep for me indefinitely, and I said you could use it; you would treat it like it was yours, take care of it, charge it daily, keep it really safe, because it is precious to you as it is to me because you know the value. Now you can be mad at me when I ask for my phone back. You shouldn't be mad at the owner or even the phone. Do you know that you don't own your husband, your wife, your children, your siblings, your money, your possessions, they all belong to God. When God tells you to let go, he is not telling you to release what is yours in the first place, he is just exchanging custodies! It was never yours in the first place. Give me back what I allowed you keep for a while. Sadly same applies when loved ones have to say goodbye and leave this earthly abode. Some parents find it hard to let go, and let their children be whatever they choose to be in life. Generally now, let go, don't feel like you should know what people are doing every minute out of your sight, give people the right to be wrong, make their own decisions, let people choose their own path, don't cower or force them into loving you, calling you, doing your bidding because ultimately, no matter how close you are to a person, it was never about you, each person has their purpose in life and God just used you to play a role in accomplishing it. When you can read the signs and the time is right, you need to bow out, and not jeopardize the role you've played already ( I'm hoping you did a great job). 2. God can replace WHATEVER he asks you to lay down. In Hebrews, bible said that Abraham knew that God was able to raise Isaac up from the mingled ashes of his cadaver. This whole thing has to do with trust! Afterall, God gave you whatever it is. he is telling you lay down anyway, and you're convinced that it was not by your power. Trust God who gave you the first time, he can do so the second time!! I've come to realize that most times when we let go of what should have been, God usually surprises us when we didn't even have any more expectations again, and in the long run, we're happier because this was better than what we had to let go of. If God doesn't have better, He won't let you lose what you think you have lost, so chill. 3. Jesus told his disciples, look at the lilies, God clothes them! don't worry. Let us face it, God has given you so many things you never asked for, or you never thought you needed. But down the line, you realized that you really couldn't have done without it, but God saw ahead of you and gave you what you needed even though you didn't think it was needful at the time. Note to self: God will take care of you!! He might not give you all you want yet, but believe me, he will definitely give you what you need ALWAYS! And that is enough for you. Don't fret, God will take care of you. 4. God will comfort you. When Isaac's mum died, he was comforted by Rebecca his wife at the time. God knows what, who exactly to bring into your life or your day, to comfort you. It might be a project, a new goal, an individual, what have you! and sometimes it may occur as coincidences, but it is God orchestrating this in your life to comfort you. Don't be too stuck in grief and miss out! They are things and people within arm's reach that God wants to comfort you with. 5. God is close to the broken hearted. Do you know how great it is to be able to speak to God? tell him how you feel about any and everything? and hear him daily?! it is one of the best feelings in the world. Isaiah said that He (God) awakes me every morning to give me a word. Every difficult process in your life, God is able to lighten. This is not even about what some preacher said, this is not something stale, it is God giving you encouragement real time from his word. So you have to get in the act of bible study. And very soon, you'll have too much word to be ever frustrated, depressed, or mad at whatever life may throw at you. When you get to the point where you have to let go, let go and let God! And just watch him step in and do what he does best; orchestrate everything for your good!

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Day One! ( Night Class Adventure Series)

I am not obsessed by my dreams and aspirations, but don't let that fool you; they were HUGE! Not such a driven person; maybe that is something I should work on. On this day, I would say I left the hostel by chance. After days and days of procrastinating, two of my roomies were going for night class and I decided to join them. I was just coming back from a church programme, and I was getting lazy and it seemed I was going to while away the time till the next day, like I've been doing for months. But they gave me the zeal, so I left the hostel with them. As we neared the precinct of the class buildings, my face immediately lit up. I found it fascinating the way the lights shone brightly juxtaposed with the dark night sky. It was one thing to come to that class in the afternoon, and another to come there at night. It seemed like a transformation. Seeing people sitting, reading in class gave me this nostalgic warm feeling. To many people, this was a perfunctory ordeal, to me it was adventure! I entered the class, and I tell you, it was a funny sight. Boys and girls were prepping hard. Then I saw various bottles of drinks; miranda, coke, one girl was sharing crackers with her friend. Mouths were moving, some were just chewing gum, I even saw a girl eating home made ( or school made, but by her of course! ) spaghetti! she was also on warm comfortable snuggly pajamas.WOW, no time! some people just have no chill lol. The whole thing just seemed like a sleep over, or a pajamas party, ( there is one Barney episode called that). I looked for a comfortable seat and then sat down. I was reading that night at Education Faculty, and I kept thinking to myself that I should have read at Law, because it was closer to the hostel. That was my lazy tendency acting up again. It was Physics 113 I decided to read that night. After what seemed like six hours of reading, I decided to go behind the class to take the picture I'll use for this post. I checked the time, it was just ten. I had started reading at nine. I began contemplating; do I go back and rest so I could wake up early the next day, or push harder. I kept thinking this through, I could be indecisive at times. I really feel that I am not a night guy though. I'm more productive in the afternoons. But common sense prevailed! I kept saying to myself; "Uche, you can do this!" So I decided to go to the place we call June 12 here to find something to put in my mouth basically, that would keep me active. I had wanted to buy Nescafe, they had the 80 naira own and the 120 naira own, but I finally settled for just water and a sweet; Pin Pon sweet. I couldn't tell which was more surprising; that the people selling were still there at such ungodly hour, or that the place was swarming with buyers and passers-by. I guess it was mutually beneficial to both parties. The guy selling the Nescafe was dosing and nodding off. Why, fail! this dude doesn't even use the product he is selling. Before I got back to the class, the sweet was almost finished and had already changed to 'chewing gum' ( gum). Not really a fan of gum because it eventually affects my head, the whole chewing and churning can be very stressful. I throw them away as soon as the flavour is gone. I decided to use 11 to 12 to write this blogpost.But I might have to consider this night class thing and make better use of my day time. Exams are soon. But night classes are overrated! It's about finding out what works for you and covering your subjects. My advice is, do as you much as you can. Tell yourself as I did " *insert your name* I can do this! " I ain't planning to hit 3, or 4 that most people reach. I love my sleep!! But night classes are cool. Not that hard.

Day One! is part of the Night Class Adventures Series, with which the author tells the stories of his various encounters as he goes to class at nights.

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Deep Blood Red

Don't tell me that the blood of Jesus which we always talk about is over the top, played out, too religious, theoligical or down right corny. In an ICU ( Intensive Care Unit) or A and E ( Accident and Emergency) of a hospital where critical cases are handled; one time too many, you come across patients in need of blood. Such as have lost so much blood. This is a really critical case, and donors are solicited for urgently. Urgency is the key word! Blood is the life line of any individual and such person would NOT survive for long with blood from a donor. But there is another hurdle. Such a person needs blood from a donor that matches their's. So don't tell me that you can't Understand how Jesus' blood can save you. Without the shedding of blood, there can be no forgiveness of sins. Every bad thing you ever did, you eventually have to suffer, and be punished. Just as in an ICU, someone had to literally shed their own blood to save a patient, and it had to match; so Also Christ also had to shed his blood to save YOU. He was the perfect match. The blood of goats, bulls, calves, no other sacrifice of blood could take away sins. Only Christ's. You are in need of the blood of the lamb. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory some point or another. And God would be just to punish us. Even after here on earth. Yes, I believe in after life! Jesus shed his blood to cleanse you from all your sins, so you can live and not die. The death you truly deserve. But you have a choice. You can accept this life line, or walk away. But, 1 out of 1 person without blood dies. The process of accepting this blood is very easy. 1. Just BELIEVE. Stop your cynicism. Believe that Jesus died for you, shed his blood to cleanse you and woke up early Sunday morning to save you. 2. CONFESS. Open your mouth, confess your sins to God. Ask him to come into your life. And declare that He is now your Lord and saviour. 3. Go back to number 1. Now Christ is the master of your life. You're now saved. If you've never done this, here is the right place and time. If you have, be assured of your salvation. You might say that this is just too simple, or easy. But, if I asked you to do something harder to save your life, wouldn't you do it? As much as it is easy, this is not a casual process. This is commitment. Remember: We're saved by grace, (not anything you've done) through faith, (believe!) in Jesus Christ (alone!!). Your past dosen't have to worry you anymore. You're saved! Born again! Happy Easter!!!

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Relationships 101

So, you saw this headline and you were jolted immediately. Your eyes brightened and you said; what is Uche going to talk about now? Maybe you also opened this to confirm your suspicions, or you're like, what he know anyway? just chill for a bit with your questions in your mind. Religion has been quite an issue. You have always heard the cliche; "Christianity is not religion, but relationship." How I wish more and more people with wholesome (wholesome is the key word) relationships could approach their relationship with God the same way with their partner and vice versa. Whether it's a married couple, engaged couple, or people just dating. We wouldn't have so much problems if we did it right and the same way with God, like with a spouse or partner. Now I am not going to claim team single, but there are a couple of things I've known and observed as similarities with our relationship with God and between ourselves. 1. God wants to be first in our lives. Our waking thought, and our sleeping thought. He wants to be the first person we talk to in the morning and the last at night. It is actually dangerous if we let anyone take the place of God in our life. The truth is, God is even the one that can help you love another person. The extent to which you rub off from God's glory and grace determines the success of your relationship. God can teach you how to love, not lil Wayne. So loving and putting God first doesn't jeopardize our own earthly relationships, it reinforces it. 2. Just like the first point, God requires constant communication from us. A Sunday Sunday Christian is a no no! Just like people in a relationship want to always be talking everytime and checking up on themselves God also wants open, regular communication with us. It's called prayer. Prayer is not a monologue, but a dialogue. You speak God listens, God speaks, you listen. Prayer is not a self righteous uphill task that we pride ourselves in. It should be as easy as saying hello to a friend. 3. God's love constrains us. People keep saying they're not perfect enough, but God still loves them. Very true. But some of this same people don't make the slightest effort to please the person (God in this case) that they love. Imagine knowing that someone you love wouldn't have you do something. Now it would be a situation of gross unfairness if you do know, and keep doing that same thing to hurt their feelings. Same with God. God loves us and forgives us, but we should love him back too much not to keep messing up, and rest in his grace to help us anytime we fall short. 4. We should always be proud to associate ourselves with God and not be ashamed. Just like a woman takes on her husband's name as a new identity, everyone around us should know us as children of God every time. 5. You cannot bribe God to bless you. I give offerings and sometimes tithes because I love God, and not because I am expecting anything in return. Same way we show love to those we love and can go any extent. Sure God blesses, and we should have an amount of expectation when we give, but look at it, all you have was given to you by God, an offering is an opportunity for you to tell God how thankful you are to him, and also an opportunity to be blessed. But trust me on this one; you cannot bribe God to do something for you. 6. Know and believe the love God has for you. The things we do for love...do you know how much God loves you? and how much he's willing to do for you? unfortunately, so many people give up on God in the process, same way some people will have nothing to do with some others because of they've measured them in a certain standard. Then one day those people they measured hit jackpot... God loves you, hold your head up high. Believe things would work out, expect good things to happen to you, expect to stand out, because God Almighty, the creator of the universe loves you! Always be conscious of God's love for you no matter what. Don't expect worse, expect better! expect to be exceptional, because your father loves you. 7. Trust. Without trust in a relationship, there is just no point. I trust God with my life. Afterall He gave it to me. This confidence and trust in God is the knowledge that God cannot mismanage your life. Through the good bad and the ugly. No matter what or who comes or goes, who tells you no, whichever place or point you find yourself in life, know that God is in control of your life, and everything will work for your good! 8. Truth. God requires truth in our most inward places. There is a need for us all to have an altar of honesty with God where we can let it all out; fear, flaws, insecurities, hopes, ambitions, dreams, disappointments, all of it to God. Stop trying to fake that you have it all together. You don't. I can go on and on, but the truth is that until we start approaching Christianity as a relationship with God, we will always burn out and get tired of this race and our faith, and we'll start seeing serving God as a bore or a chore. And as distance shouldn't be a problem in our human relationships, you too haven't not seen God yet, still love Him, up until the time He shall be revealed unto us and we would see Him as He really is!

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Nigeria is a Very Hard Place to Study in; Turning Scholars into Hustlers from Day 1

Is life really hard? Is it just me, or do the hardships in Nigeria have nothing to do with life as a whole being hard? There's this TV series; ''Necessary Roughness''. Let me tell you a story of another series, Nigerian version; ''Unnecessary Roughness''.
My first contact with the reality of the unnecessary Nigerian Struggle was when I started writing my Senior School Certificate Exams (SSCE) Waec and Neco.

 We did our oral tests in French and English, in places that were disgusting. Those places were meant to be colleges of Study and learning. Simply put, my friend Faith told me that, if she schooled in such places, she'd literally throw up every day! 

Now the environment wasn't the only issue. I attended a very nice high school, so the rest of the written paper tests and practicals were in my school.
I didn't have much problems with the Waec practicals in Chemistry, Biology and Physics but Neco was a bit different.
We had three days each for both the Waec and Neco practicals. The first day of the Neco practical, this young lady and man walked in. There were winks and smiles around the lab. I am guessing that most guys thought this was going to be a breeze! It was Physics.
It wasn't a breeze. The next thing the lady was giving orders here and there. One minute she seemed like mother Theresa, the next she was a Margaret Thatcher wannabe. She was really a nut case. Don't know exactly what she was trying to prove. The other guy that came with her remained as passive as possible throughout those three days, and he seemed more obtuse in my opinion, as the days went by.
Physics practical, I didn't submit the time she went around to take the scripts. When I shortly came around to submit, she refused to take my script.
I begged and begged, but she refused. She put other people's scripts in one old, ugly, faded, and I would have loved to add smelling but it wasn't; just an old, ugly, faded green bag where they kept scripts, (God knows for how long they've been using that bag for Neco! They always use it year in year out) and she locked it. Physics teacher came along and begged, she still remained adamant. My friend Ovoke stood by me to give me moral support, and begged with me, but she refused.

 She eventually took my script. I wasn't even there when she did. Physics teacher kept trying to convince her till she entered the car that will take her back to the Neco office; graciously provided by the school. I would like to add here that; give and take, this iron lady in question wasn't more than 25! Yes I know! She was a small girl. I vowed to repay her back in my own way.
Next day or two we were having Chemistry. Chemistry was so easy, everyone finished in record time, and there was more than an hour left to go in the paper.
Me and Ovoke agreed; she was time conscious right? We too would be!
Ovoke didn't have the capacity to continue, but I did! Long after everybody had submitted, I didn't submit! I remained in the lab. Time wasn't up, I was through though.
Then the journey started. Just me and the lady and the other guy.
I kept moving around the lab, looking for some unknown chemicals. Then I'll go back to my seat and start whistling. When I got tired, I started resting my 'weary' head on the table! Lol. Of course the lady complained but time wasn't over, and I told her that I wasn't done! Yes, I could afford the luxury of wasting my time so I could waste her's since she was so touchy about time.
It was almost reaching the hour mark, and the lady got exasperated. She obviously knew what I was doing, she was getting tired, so was I, so she threatened not to take my script. Time wasn't up yet, and I would've continued, but I decided that the message had been passed, I had given her a dose of her own medicine. I decided to honourably bow out head held up high.
Mr Enaoroh and Miss Akande; chemistry and biology teachers were so proud of me! Lol because iron lady was also a pain in their behinds too. Mr Enaoroh bought me la Casera (a drink) and beffie (beef roll) lol I was smokn' hot that day! I can remember the lady seeing me that last day, after the chemistry, and smiling she said; ''my stubborn friend''. And indeed I was, I gave her problems too in Biology. I can't remember ever replying her; maybe I did...maybe I told her that I wasn't her friend...
P.S: Do Not Try This At School!!

The rest of the paper written tests were wanda  

kind. We weren't allowed to use calculators, even in Maths! The logic is simple; if you don't want us to use calculators, don't give us calculator questions! I realised after the Waec, people; speaking of the invigilators, will choose officialdom over human feelings. This was our future they were treating with such levity. Neco wasn't even a problem for me. The only problem was their mark scheme! I could've sworn that I deserved more than the all C's I got lol.

We are a very religious society! Yes prayer changes things! Hold your God tight here ooo! You'll hear prayer points like; ''Dear Lord, let the person marking my script, have his wife cook well for him, and put him in the right mood to mark my script.'' Gobe is when the person marking your script is a woman...a lonely, bitter, husbandless one lol.
You need a miracle for everything. No matter what you write; You need a miracle for your Jamb result to come out! Another miracle for your Waec and Neco to come out, then another miracle for your Post-Utme result to come out. The final miracle is admission. Believe you me, each stage of these chains of supernatural occurrences qualify for testimonies in David Oyedepo's 50,000 capacity church. That's how our bureaucratic juggernauts want us to feel, like it's a privilege to get admission in a government institution.
I was in a business center and this lady, the computer operator was close to tears. She had finished school four years ago. She had to look for a job as a computer operator in a business center because of the admission problem. This was her fourth year, she wrote GCE (Waec/Neco equivalent) last year. She had been trying each year, and paying. She just checked it before I walked in. ALL her papers were withheld. Next year things for her.

If you were thinking that gaining admission into a government institution was the last line of walking in the supernatural, you're dead WRONG! You'll realize how much people love God in school. Prayer warriors, pastors, evangelists, preachers. God is not an option here trust me! Some of them won't let people sleep, steady speaking in tongues into the night.-

Right from day 1 when I started my school clearance, into Uni that is, I started hustling. By 6am, there was a crowd already in unity bank. They were all pressing into the gate. We needed tellers to pay for a record file that we were going to collect from the bursary. A different place. Pushing tossing, it was not until noon that I got my teller. I paid 3,000.

The next day at the bursary, came early enough, 7am. Another mammoth crowd. Pushing and tossing. I felt miserable. I was in the middle of the crowd. Tired, hungry, thirsty weak, it was stuffy. They would sometimes push, and I'd feel the impact. On top of that, a leaking air conditioner was dripping on me. It was horrible. I didn't get my receipt until about 1.00pm. I was standing all through.

The clearance wasn't over yet! I had to go to the auditorium. Triple the amount of people I saw in the bank and bursary combined, that's the number that came to the auditorium. And it was increasing daily. For a week, I kept going to the auditorium, but couldn't clear. They couldn't manage the crowd. I was spending the whole day there with an empty stomach achieving nothing! Meanwhile, everyone coming was already given admission by the school, and had all paid 45,000 acceptance fee. The school couldn't create students' records and verify admission they'd already given. It was done in the most haphazard manner.
The second week of the clearance, there was an incident. I wasn't there, it was on Tuesday, but I was told that several students were assaulted by security and a journalist that tried to cover the event was also assaulted and detained till the next day.
The problem was that they were trying to arbitrarily clear students. It was so disorganized. Most students were coming daily just like me; some as early as 4.am but still weren't able to clear. So, many people were getting really desperate. This even led to a worse situation the next day, Wednesday.
I was present that Wednesday. I came as early as 6.am, and several other students were already there, say like 700. The gate leading into the auditorium, was locked. They didn't usually do that!
As the day dawned and got brighter, more people were coming. The students were getting really testy which was understandable. They had been coming for weeks now. Two people were in front of the gate at the other side. They refused opening it.
At some point, the gate was opened a little;students began forcing their way in, and in a few moments, the gate was pushed down! Broken! It was corrugated iron sheets used round the auditorium, and after a while, people began jumping over the sides of the now already broken gate.
In all this confusion, there was a stampede. About 10 people were trampled upon. I saw some of them. Two ladies out of breath, they were already faint. Many were injured and their clothes were in shreds. As I walked into the auditorium, by the entrance, various shoes, more than 30 pairs. The owners were evidently involved in the scuffle. Soon the ambulance came. Many people that started to feel faint or that had already fainted were carried out. Nobody had eaten so they should be very weak. So all these people, including the asthmatics were sandwiched in this small ambulance. One person was feared dead. All for clearance.
After that day, they started making the exercise online. Your name had to appear in their website, before you came to the auditorium. Tell me the block heads that didn't think of this earlier, and someone had to die, for you to use your head!

It's not by your power or your might. I've met so many people that will swear that what they were reading, wasn't what reflected in their score sheets. Truly, it was about how many people they needed to pass. If the number was too much, they downgraded the average scores, if it wasn't enough, they upgraded the scores. Ever seen when a lecturer, after marking decides that everybody passed well, and re marks to reduce the scores, because it wasn't possible, in his somehow twisted, narrow reality that everyone should pass? Same with graduating students, it's not about the average class performance, it's about the numbers they want graduating.
Just after two weeks of staying, I noticed a strand of white hair. Lectures have not even started, and I was aging! The struggle I had passed through in two weeks was more than the struggle I've faced since the beginning of the year! I had trekked miles and miles, because the road networks in campus was disorganized. I had waited in various queues more times than I could bother to remember! I had met so many stupid people, unhygienic ones; with bad breath and body odour, even girls were turned beasts, because everyone has to hustle for themselves. And lectures hadn't even started!
The Truth of the matter is, if you ever meet someone who's been through this system, and isn't an animal, respect such a person!

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10 + 1 Tips on Dealing With Difficult Breakups and painful Losses

When it comes to grief, and heartbreak there really is not a ‘silver bullet’ to dealing with it. We are all different. We hurt differently. Some more than others. Others a little less. Some people have learnt to better deal with it. But the reason for this post is that, when you are hurting, you can’t say what you don’t want to do or what you want to do. You really want to know and do the next right thing that will help you feel better. These are 10 practical steps:

1. There are five stages in grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I am not saying you should ‘come to terms’ with what has happened yet, What I’m saying here is that you should come to terms with your own emotions and be honest with yourself and where you stand. You can’t trick your heart into caring less or not caring at all. Admit you’re hurt, you’re broken, you’re not okay.
2. Express your emotions. This is a lot easier for some other people than for others. If you need to cry, do so!
3. Share your grief, with someone or with a loving community. You cannot afford to carry some hurts alone. You have to let people know that you’re not okay. You have to let someone know how you feel. You should be able to have a trusted person who you can ‘let it all out’ to or who you can vent to. A loving community like a church group will help at this time.
4. There are five stages of grief, and some quickly find acceptance soon enough. Well for others it might take a little while. It’s okay if you’re not okay yet. Know that this might take a little while. But on another note, God didn’t mean for us to continue healing our whole life. At some point you actually should’ve healed. It’s amazing what a year can do to your life (I am not saying it will take that long!)
5. Love rejected shouldn’t be suspended. It only has to be re-directed. They’re so many people out there that need your love, and daily, people are there that you can be a blessing to. That you can give that time, attention. When you understand that love is selfless, you will gain more fulfilment from life. You have to get over yourself and your own pain to be a blessing to some other people. That’s your purpose! And purpose might not totally remove pain, but it will definitely reduce it.
6. Be careful what you do in your period of grief. Grief can drive a lot of people to make lots of dumb decisions that they’ll tend to regret all their lives. realise that this is a very vulnerable point for your life. Do not do anything you wouldn’t be proud of; don’t go seeking sexual gratification from all the wrong places, don’t go into into alcohol and revelling, porn, there’s just so many temptations that the devil may bring. This is not the time for that! You shouldn’t throw away your life, destiny, morals, standards because you’re in pain.
7. Do not quickly jump into another relationship with somebody after a huge breakup. This is a time to hear and learn from God, so that you’ll know why the last marriage, relationship, or what have you, didn’t work, and how the next one will be much better. Don’t hang with the wrong people just because you’re lonely!
8. Forgive! This seems like the hardest, but yet the one to bring the most peace. And the best way to do this is to start by praying for the person that hurt you, anytime you start thinking bitter thoughts. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill the other person. You’ll hurt a lot more, and for longer if you still decide to hold grudges in your heart against them. Hate is a huge burden to bear. i am sticking with love! you should too! and P.s you don’t have to prove anything to anybody!
9. DO NOT lose your individuality to someone else. Do not lose ‘you’ because of us. You have your own life too! your own dreams and aspirations! you are an individual! Be inspired and get excited by your life. God has great plans for you. Do not give yourself so into somebody else that you lose you! Your pain can also prepare you for your destiny. Some people have monetized breakups by singing songs, putting the pain into words, and now they’re millionaires. I am saying you still have a great life and future irregardless. That should get you excited. Let your pain prepare you for your future, not stop you from it!
10. Do not become a bitter person. Life’s experiences should make you better not bitter. Do not carry a truckload and baggage from how you’ve been wrongly treated, and allow that to change your view about the world, about helping people. There’s still people out there that are great! there’s still people out there that will love you selflessly, there’s people out there that don’t have to pay for what someone else did to you. Be kind, loving, still. Don’t let the world kill your smile, your happy.
11. Finally, God is ever close to the broken hearted.Cling to Him! Draw near to Him and His word, even in this painful moment of your life. He’ll lead and guide you and comfort you. He’ll always tell you what to do next, He’ll help you heal, He’ll take the pain away I know this!

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10 Reasons Why you Should Meet the Boy Your Daughter is Dating

It all depends on what you would define as 'dating' and many parents would have many many reservations on this topic, but I think you should want to know more about the boy your daughter is 'closest' with. Why, you know and could have met her closest female friend right? Not everyone is interested in the opposite sex at a young age, but the period when the hormones start shouting, you should be right by her side, and create an atmosphere of candour, and openness, whatever you do. Your daughter should be secure enough to know that you're okay with her hanging with a boy as a very 'close friend'.
So, reasons why you should meet this boy:

1. You have to know the boy to his house, parents, school and all. Trust me this will come in handy some day
2. It is easier to judge the intentions of people from up close! Now it is good for him to have such interest in your daughter provided the purpose is good. You can judge that when you meet with him.
3. Knowing that you are aware of their relationship will make any boy treat your daughter, with far more respect.
4. You can always set the guidelines, rules and boundaries for the relationship with them from the beginning. Of course purity is the key word here.
5. Knowing and accepting your daughter's relationship beats the alternative; not accepting, and not knowing! really now.
6. It develops a closer relationship, trust and respect for daddy from daughter, and now she can tell you anything about the relationship, and you could always intervene.
7. If your daughter can let you know about her relationship, there's few things that she won't let you know about. And as a father, you want to know a lot about your daughter trust me.
8. The relationship with a girl and her father builds her self esteem, because a father is not someone that would ever decide to walk out on his daughter. A girl would definitely realise this more when you're involved in this aspect of her life.
9. It saves your daughter the stress ( and it's a whole amount of stress) of living a secret life, making furtive and clandestine moves and unacceptable secret meetings.
10. It is important to be by your daughter's side, guiding her through the period of infatuation or maybe it could actually be love. It doesn't help when you just make rigid rules and laws and bans. Chances are that she won't listen, because feelings can be real...yup! they could get real, and the advice she should get from you she'll get from the wrong crowd; bad friends, rappers, musicians e.t.c and when you're more concerned about dropping rules and laws and not knowing how your daughter actually feels, hearing her out, talking to her honestly and gently about it, you create a real struggle for her. And the story doesn't just end because you gave a law. I'm being real.

Well this is all I have. My opinion really. This blog post should have been, do you allow your daughter date? at what age? what do you mean by dating? that's really up to your instincts at the end, after you've read this. What do I know? I know a lot! It isn't healthy to give your daughter a wrong impression about the opposite sex, or no impression at all. But at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you should be able to talk about this and many other things with your daughter in a calm and loving atmosphere. Of course I'm hoping that by the time she would have reached this stage of wanting a relationship, or whatever you'll call it, you would have trained her well enough to know the sort of people she ought to hang out with! and so you can trust her decisions. Of course, mums are colossally important in this process, but that might have to be another blog post! :) peace y'all.

What I just talked about is in the ideal world of course, and this is how I'm definitely going to go about it when I'm a dad! :)

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The Story of A Birthday Card

It was a Sunday evening. Sunday the 2nd of February. I was out trying to buy a gift wrapper and a birthday card for a very dear friend. Got to this supermarket, and asked for the gift wrapper, and went to where the cards are stacked to pick one. There were different sorts of cards, the ugly ones, home made ones; and I say home made because for some of them, they actually used a black pen to write some of the characters! That was just plain weird. So I tried to sort out the different ones, mostly wedding and birthday cards, till I finally saw a good one.

So I chose this one, and I made to the counter to pay for it and at some point the card flipped over and there written very boldly is ‘Selective’. It doesn’t seem like a huge deal though, because selective is just the name of the brand of the card I bought, but to me it meant so much more! at that very moment, being the person that I am and having the photographic memory that I do have, meaning that stuff tend to stick, my mind went way way back, over 12 years ago…

There was a girl… we were both in the same class and that was primary two. She had a foreign accent, but she was Nigerian. So we didn’t talk much then, I don’t even think I ever really talked to her and vice versa. Back then I really didn’t care about girls, or if you look at it she didn’t really care about me?…lol . We really used to keep it low key with girls at such innocent age back then lol. I wasn't a very social person as well, then. Not necessarily shy, or maybe a little of both. But there were still various things about this girl that I still knew. Her family wasn’t the average Nigerian family, that would give their children rice, beans and stew for lunch. Ah no! they kept it real classy; most times she would just come to school with dates, sandwiches and juice! which was pretty standard I guess. I heard her once tell the teacher that her mum said that she could eat that in school, but eat proper food when they got home.
So just incase you’re wondering where I’m going with this, and how this relates to what I was talking about earlier, relax. This is how. She did come from a very wonderful family because during the Christmas season, she would bring cards to school and give EVERYONE! addressing the cards personally, writing each person’s name on it, even though apparently, she didn't know every one personally. I don’t think it was only Christmas she sent out such cards because, as far as I can remember, she gave them out on more than one occasion. That was the first and last time since I started going to the four walls of a school that somebody gave cards to EVERYBODY. Everybody is the key word here. It turned out to be that her mum made her do it, but you gotta give her the credit for that one irregardless and her mom of course!

So let’s go back to the super market where I was about buying that card. It flipped over and ‘selective’ was boldly written behind and then suddenly it came! something clicked! DING! It was the same ‘selective’ cards that she used to give out then! The name is Ivie, Ivie Etomi! She’s the girl that I’ve been talking about. And before you begin to get all over me, I did ask her if I could write this, and she said it was okay!
So when I got back home later that day, I was so hyped, and took to my twitter:

today I bought a 'selective' brand card immediately I remembered the girl that gave the whole class cards for christmas in primary 2
— Uche Emordi (@Emordiphilip) February 2, 2014

It was the same 'selective' brand she used to give us then, the WHOLE CLASS. I'm shouting out to Ivie Etomi, she's the girl that did that
— Uche Emordi (@Emordiphilip) February 2, 2014

you know, it's doing stuff like that, that would probably make people remember you for something worthwhile later on
— Uche Emordi (@Emordiphilip) February 2, 2014

So what is the moral lesson of this? it’s all about being appreciative in retrospect, acknowledging the little kindness and the spark that it can create even years later, of what seemed like a minor gesture. I agree this could've been a bit mushy and emotional and stuff, but I tend to attach a lot of sentimental value to some little things. I told Ivie that I hoped this would make her smile and I guess that I've lived or written up to expectation in this case. So this is a tale of the ‘selective’ birthday card and a very nice person, Ivie Etomi! she's pretty too ;)…I really wanted to put her picture on here, but maybe it’s about some of you guys that would unnecessarily start ‘checking’ on her! ( I kid I kid lol).

Disclaimer: This is not a marketing tool for the 'Selective' brand, although it wouldn't have hurt for me to make a few bucks off them for this scintillating piece.

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