10 + 1 Tips on Dealing With Difficult Breakups and painful Losses

When it comes to grief, and heartbreak there really is not a ‘silver bullet’ to dealing with it. We are all different. We hurt differently. Some more than others. Others a little less. Some people have learnt to better deal with it. But the reason for this post is that, when you are hurting, you can’t say what you don’t want to do or what you want to do. You really want to know and do the next right thing that will help you feel better. These are 10 practical steps:

1. There are five stages in grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I am not saying you should ‘come to terms’ with what has happened yet, What I’m saying here is that you should come to terms with your own emotions and be honest with yourself and where you stand. You can’t trick your heart into caring less or not caring at all. Admit you’re hurt, you’re broken, you’re not okay.
2. Express your emotions. This is a lot easier for some other people than for others. If you need to cry, do so!
3. Share your grief, with someone or with a loving community. You cannot afford to carry some hurts alone. You have to let people know that you’re not okay. You have to let someone know how you feel. You should be able to have a trusted person who you can ‘let it all out’ to or who you can vent to. A loving community like a church group will help at this time.
4. There are five stages of grief, and some quickly find acceptance soon enough. Well for others it might take a little while. It’s okay if you’re not okay yet. Know that this might take a little while. But on another note, God didn’t mean for us to continue healing our whole life. At some point you actually should’ve healed. It’s amazing what a year can do to your life (I am not saying it will take that long!)
5. Love rejected shouldn’t be suspended. It only has to be re-directed. They’re so many people out there that need your love, and daily, people are there that you can be a blessing to. That you can give that time, attention. When you understand that love is selfless, you will gain more fulfilment from life. You have to get over yourself and your own pain to be a blessing to some other people. That’s your purpose! And purpose might not totally remove pain, but it will definitely reduce it.
6. Be careful what you do in your period of grief. Grief can drive a lot of people to make lots of dumb decisions that they’ll tend to regret all their lives. realise that this is a very vulnerable point for your life. Do not do anything you wouldn’t be proud of; don’t go seeking sexual gratification from all the wrong places, don’t go into into alcohol and revelling, porn, there’s just so many temptations that the devil may bring. This is not the time for that! You shouldn’t throw away your life, destiny, morals, standards because you’re in pain.
7. Do not quickly jump into another relationship with somebody after a huge breakup. This is a time to hear and learn from God, so that you’ll know why the last marriage, relationship, or what have you, didn’t work, and how the next one will be much better. Don’t hang with the wrong people just because you’re lonely!
8. Forgive! This seems like the hardest, but yet the one to bring the most peace. And the best way to do this is to start by praying for the person that hurt you, anytime you start thinking bitter thoughts. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill the other person. You’ll hurt a lot more, and for longer if you still decide to hold grudges in your heart against them. Hate is a huge burden to bear. i am sticking with love! you should too! and P.s you don’t have to prove anything to anybody!
9. DO NOT lose your individuality to someone else. Do not lose ‘you’ because of us. You have your own life too! your own dreams and aspirations! you are an individual! Be inspired and get excited by your life. God has great plans for you. Do not give yourself so into somebody else that you lose you! Your pain can also prepare you for your destiny. Some people have monetized breakups by singing songs, putting the pain into words, and now they’re millionaires. I am saying you still have a great life and future irregardless. That should get you excited. Let your pain prepare you for your future, not stop you from it!
10. Do not become a bitter person. Life’s experiences should make you better not bitter. Do not carry a truckload and baggage from how you’ve been wrongly treated, and allow that to change your view about the world, about helping people. There’s still people out there that are great! there’s still people out there that will love you selflessly, there’s people out there that don’t have to pay for what someone else did to you. Be kind, loving, still. Don’t let the world kill your smile, your happy.
11. Finally, God is ever close to the broken hearted.Cling to Him! Draw near to Him and His word, even in this painful moment of your life. He’ll lead and guide you and comfort you. He’ll always tell you what to do next, He’ll help you heal, He’ll take the pain away I know this!

Tweet